I am becoming increasingly frustrated with my performance (or lack of it) in my chosen roles in life. At the last count these included - aspiring writer, degree student, family historian, jewellery maker, decorator, gardener, mother, wife and homemaker.
The question I am asking is – should I give up all of these, except mother, wife and homemaker? Would I be happier ensuring that my home is clean and tidy and everyone has what they need? Responses please.
Oh Morton, I understand that feeling all too well. There's something deeply satisfying about doing a simple and necessary job well, but I hardly ever get that any more because I'm rushing from one thing to the next on my list and never seem to finish anything properly.
ReplyDeleteI think you have to prioritise. Or maybe just specialise, and take the long view. Wife/mother/homemaker comes first while your son is still little, and the rest of your time (ha!) has to be allocated carefully to the things that nourish your soul best. Something might have to give now, but you can always pick it up again later. (*whispers* 'please don't let it be the book...')
And you're a WRITER, missis (and a darned good one too.) There's no 'aspiring' about it!
Thank you India. I have had a bad week. Lack of sleep meant I wasn't my usual efficient self, missed things, forgot things, lost things, felt too tired to write and then started to feel disconsolate.
ReplyDeleteSchool broke up today so I can relax a little more. Little son waltzed off with the infant mathematics cup (swells with pride) and big son passed his university resits (phew).
Once I get over the weekend when we have several visitors, I think I will start to get things back into perspective (swigs Rescue Remedy).
Thank you for caring enough to respond and don't worry the book is writing itself whenever I pick up a pen.
Apologies for the late reply here, but I'd say if you give everything up you're going to feel miserable and frustrated - writers can't help themselves because it's like breathing.
ReplyDeleteAs India says, prioritising will help a lot. You need something for you as well as being a wife and mum. Writing is something that can be fitted round the children (don't worry about breaking off partway through something because you'll get it back when you re-read). Although my home isn't tidy or spotless (with two kids and a dog, it's never going to be), it's clean in the important bits.
I find making lists really helps. And during the summer I'm changing my writing schedule so I work first thing in the morning before the kids are up, then spend the day with them. Takes away the guilt and gets things done (and luckily I'm a lark - if I was an owl, I'd do it the other way round and work late).
Good luck!
Thanks Kate. I was having a particularly bad week when I wrote my question. I know really that I can't give up writing - everywhere I go I find ideas and characters and poems.
ReplyDeleteMy little darling gets up at 6.15 so I'd have to be up pretty early to write before he is up. What I have done is relax the rules slightly on tv and playstation time to give me time.
Feeling much more positve now thankfully. I just need that publishing break and then I'll be away. Working on my first chapter for the Mills and Boon competitiion at the moment - great fun!